Jerk-Proof

There's also no such thing as "environmentally-friendly." The environment doesn't need friends, because it is the environment. And even if the environment wanted friends, do you really think it would want to be friends with you? I mean, come on, look at you.

I don't think it's really "gay" if you are a guy who has a crush on Indiana Jones. O to cling fast to that sweaty, swashbuckling archaeologist as you swing across an ancient, bottomless chasm, chased by a furious, desperate squad of natives who've for generations sworn to protect what you've just stolen from them, your cheek rubbing against his stubbly man-cheek...