OVERCOMPENSATING
January 28, 2010 | PERMALINK | SHARE
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Thursday, January 28, 2010 - 12:00 AM

I'm all for there being a sustainable population, and I fully acknowledge that the main problem in the world is that there are just too many dang people, holy crap there are too many people. Like most people, I don't want to die (most of the time). In fact, almost everybody wants to be alive, and it's hard to get people to go against what they're pretty much wired to do.

I guess the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement has good ideas as far as this thing goes, but I have an idea I'd like them to consider -- we need to find a way to make everybody think babies are super-ugly and terrible to be around. To a lot of people, babies are already freakish and terrible to be around -- they're loud and squirmy, they crap everywhere, they ain't got no money -- but there's something in the human brain that makes all that still desirable. We also need to make the tradition of wandering out into the sea when you're outlived your usefulness cool again. That way, and all that extra food will help the shark population grow and evolve faster, until pretty soon they can walk around on land and eventually fly.

And you cannot deny that a planet overrun by walking, flying, fat sharks locked in a constant battle with hideous, caterwauling babies would be anything less than a significant improvement.




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