One of the best parts about bein' a human bean is that poop is coming out of your butt all the time, almost every day, sometimes six or seven times a day. I'm being sarcastic of course, pooping is terrible and filthy. And messy. And how do most of us deal with the mess? Wiping it off with tissue paper. Listen, just because it's your butthole it's still your skin. Get with it. I heard a comedian talking about this one time, I can't remember who it was [EDIT: The internet never forgets -- it is this guy, I think? Memories all foggy]. Regardless, if you vote for me for president I will make sure we get some bidets going in this joint. Or at least lower the price on those Dolce & Gabbana adult butt wipes.
Big news! The first MS Paint Adventures book, Problem Sleuth: Compensation, Adequate is out and shipping now! It's another book on the TopatoCo publishing imprint! I am really proud that we were able to put out a book this good, it is really good. We are going places! (hell)
